


Kylux Crack

by Amugon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: All of this is for comedic purposes, M/M, Weird kinks might pop up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-13 02:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5690701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amugon/pseuds/Amugon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random funny drabbles centering Kylux</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The daddy kink to a new level

The thing Hux and Kylo have going on is certainly strange. It is literally beyond a normal relationships standards of strange. They hadn’t really gone through their kinks in fact maybe they don’t have any. 

In Kylo’s room there was a literal reliquary devoted solely to Darth Vader. Hux paid no mind to it really. Of course until things turned a little weird. Hux was left waiting on the bed while Kylo rummaged through his stuff.

“Hux can you wear this tonight?” Kylo presented him with a replica of Darth Vader’s helmet. Hux knew that there were weird kinks in the universe, but this was over the top.

“Hell no, Ren.” He didn’t want to pretend to be Darth Vader, that was something saved for strange roleplayers in the galaxy. 

“Just for tonight and next time will be your choice,” well, Hux was tempted.

“Fine,” Hux took the helmet and put it on. He couldn’t believe he was really going to do this.

After Hux immediately removed the helmet and set it on a stand next to the bed. Kylo just laid right next to him. “I think I finally regret a life decision, grandfather,” Kylo spoke to himself. Hux was going to ask about that, but Kylo had already fallen asleep.

(Bonus alternate end:  
After Hux immediately removed the helmet and set it on a stand next to the bed. Kylo turned to him and just said, "You aren't nearly as good as I imagine my grandfather was." Hux was mortified.)


	2. This Is Basically A Funeral

The First Order held a ceremony to honor those lives that were lost in the destruction of Starkiller. To the public eye they may be monsters, but to keep the stormtroopers loyal they had to put on a show. Of course Kylo found the event absolutely boring. 

He just recovered from his wounds and was discharged. A scar went across his face now and luckily he had back up masks to wear. 

Not far away Hux was just overseeing. He had no reason to be there, but he wasn’t needed anywhere else. There was a closet nearby that was pretty much empty. They didn’t really need them on the Finalizer, but hey it could come in handy for an idea.

Kylo looked over and saw Hux heading his way. “Follow me,” the redhead told him and took him to the closet and threw his mask off. 

“We’re basically at a funeral,” Kylo hissed.

“It doesn’t matter,” Hux said and began kissing Kylo. The closet was small and heated up quickly, but that didn’t matter. Hux began trying to take off Kylo’s stupid robes, but there were so many layers it was practically impossible. “Damn it.”

“Should I just?” Hux knew what Kylo was offering and he agreed to it. The knight lowered himself and began to undress Hux. Maybe they would have gotten far if they weren’t in a closet. 

The door was slid open by Captain Phasma. Even underneath her helmet she appeared pissed. “Stop having sex everywhere. Especially at a time like this,” Hux and Kylo were truly moved by her words and quickly regained their composure. 

Yeah, Hux regretted that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you give me a situation I can make a Kylux scenario out of it.


	3. Matt the Technician

Matt, the radar technician, was new addition to Starkiller. Hux knew nothing about his arrival or where he came from. Only few times he’s ran into the man. He is absolutely awful at his job. Part of Hux thinks he’s a spy, but the resistance would not be so foolish to send a spy like that.

One day on the rare occurrence of Hux eating lunch in the cafeteria Matt decided to sit with him. He also clearly had a death wish of a sorts. No one ever sits next to Hux. Matt also though Hux would love to hear about Kylo Ren. Literally no one on the ship loves Kylo Ren as much as the blond. Every second was giving Hux a headache.

I saw Kylo this I saw Kylo that. Hux wondered when it would stop. “I saw Kylo Ren interrogating a prisoner yesterday.”

“He does that often,” Hux said bored of the conversation. “I’m going to take my leave now,” Hux stood up and left Matt alone at the table. On the inside “Matt” was extremely angry that Hux just left him like that.

Hux was sitting in his quarters reading a book when a stormtrooper came to his door. It was another report about Kylo Ren destroying something. This was not Hux’s day. Along with the damage report was a termination notice of Matt.

The termination notice wasn’t that Matt was killed in the incident, but that Matt was in fact just Kylo in disguise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that snl episode.


	4. "I like thigh-high stockings"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically a continuation of the grandfather kink.

* * *

The purchase was on an instant whim. Honestly looking back on it Kylo had no real idea why he thought buying them was a good idea. Hux may or may not like them, Kylo was going to go with no, considering how the helmet thing went the last time they were intimate. Yeah he made a mistake purchase.

It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it also certainly was not comfortable. He was doing this for Hux, he made the mistake for Hux. This was going to be the last time he wore thigh-high stockings. Underneath his leggings (what type of pants does he even wear exactly?) and boots he was wearing the strangest material. He was glad no one else would know he’s wearing them.

Soon Kylo would be out of the dreaded stockings, even if they were starting to grow on him. In a few hours he was supposed to meet in Hux’s room, yes they had to schedule these things because Hux is a perfectionist. An hour or so was certainly not going to kill Kylo in the stockings.

When Kylo made it to Hux’s chambers he became hesitant about showing off the stockings. Hux was going to angry. Instead Kylo just began kissing Hux. All was fine that way, maybe Hux even forgot about how he told him to get some stockings.

Then, Hux split the kiss between them and asked in a low voice, “Did you buy them?”

Kylo averted his eyes and looked every that wasn’t Hux, but he still landed his eyes back on the redhead, “Yes, of course. Though, not the exact ones you told me to buy.”

“Well let me see them,” Hux practically purred at Kylo and honestly he hated himself at how much he liked that and how much he was going to ruin the moment. He removed everything he had covering view of the leggings and allowed Hux a full view of them. “Honestly, Ren, what is your obsession with Darth Vader?” Hux had his face in his hands and was groaning. “Just take them off.”

Kylo did take them off, not calmly, but they were off. The stockings made it to the other side of the room. Kylo quickly put all his clothes back on and left Hux sitting in the bed. Hux thought bringing up quirks in bed was becoming a bad idea on his end really. He also needed to have Kylo’s Darth Vader obsession sorted out, he’s sure that it’s unhealthy.


	5. Snow

The soon to be Starkiller base was set to a permanent arctic land. Kylo actually really loved snow and the landscape was perfect. The redhead next to him however did not like it so much. The snow went up to the midway point of their shins, this area was had deeper snow than where they landed. It was a simple scouting recon together to determine if the planet would work. 

Everything was in Hux’s hands. He had the design settled and where the building process should begin. They were standing where Starkiller would be soon. High hopes were placed on the planet destroyer, it would everything the First Order is.

Kylo looked over at Hux who was shivering slightly. He hadn’t really took the temperature in count when he planned his apparel for the visit. Kylo still remained warm in his robes, they were thick enough to resist the wind. He brought his hands up and removed his mask and didn’t react to the cold already nipping at his skin. 

Snow hit the side of Hux and he turned towards the direction it came from. When he laid eyes on Kylo he began to glare daggers. He would have preferred his uniform to remain crisp and dry, but it was also a pleasant surprise to see the other man’s unmasked face. 

While in his thoughts he was hit by another snowball and heard Kylo laugh. It was either keep taking hits or join in with the fight apparently. 

The first snowball thrown by Hux hit Kylo in the face. It resulted in Kylo hiding his mouth with his hand to laugh. Snow clung to his hair and refused to fall. The snowball fight ended with that. They would have to return to the shuttle soon before a search team is deployed. 

“Do you not like snow?” Kylo asked out of the blue.

“Not particularly. Why do you ask?” Hux returned with his own question.

“I prefer it over sand. It’s much easier to deal with.” Hux got the feeling that something bad must have happened with sand. It was almost the same for him with snow, it reminded him of his father. A small tickle in his mind let him know his thoughts were no longer private. “I can give you enjoyable memories of snow.. If you like?”

If his face wasn’t so cold his reaction would be obvious. He knew the depth of Kylo’s words, what he meant. Before he knew it Kylo was in his personal space. Their eyes locked for a moment before Kylo’s shifted down. 

The space between them became nonexistent and Hux let his eyes close. The kiss was soft and warm. Hux let his hands run through Kylo’s hair. The moment didn’t actually last long like Hux wanted. 

In a second he pushed into the snow and Kylo began laughing once again. Hux couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape. 

“I made you laugh in the snow.”


End file.
